


over my skin (i start to like the way you touch)

by raleighocean



Series: An Original Horror Story [16]
Category: American Horror Story
Genre: 2016-onward, Developing Friendships, F/F, Open Relationships, Platonic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raleighocean/pseuds/raleighocean
Summary: series of short stories about how Audrey got to know, one day at a time, little by little, one of the two women she wished to meet in every one of her lives.
Relationships: Audrey Tindall & Original Character(s), Billie Dean Howard & Audrey Tindall, Billie Dean Howard/Audrey Tindall, Billie Dean Howard/Original Character(s)
Series: An Original Horror Story [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1305791
Kudos: 2





	1. when Audrey learnt about Dara’s tattoos.

_ part 1, when Audrey learnt about Dara’s tattoos. _

"When did you say you got those?" Audrey couldn't help but put her hand in the back of her neck, feeling a bit of shame, while she tried to follow with her eyes the way Dara's breathing made her body move softly.

"Mhm when I was...eighteen or so," Dara looked down where she was pulling the side of her old t-shirt up, showing the whole area of her left ribs. The ink there, four names engraved with heavy gothic letters, was something to be afraid of. "First I got my parents, then I got my  _ abuelita  _ when she passed away and a couple years ago, my thirty or thirty-one birthday, I got my  _ abuelo  _ too. He even came with me to the studio! It was awesome, he stayed with us here and all for a few days."

Audrey couldn't help but hide her wince at the remark of Dara's age, but she was really interested in the story behind the woman's tattooed skin. 

Billie did have a little something in her ankle, done in a drunk night at college, but her... _ girlfriend  _ \- and Audrey refused to address Dara otherwise, because she was Billie's girlfriend - was full of surprises. She had seen from time to time glimpses of her tattooed tanned skin, but many times they saw each other bare there wasn't much light to dwell on contemplating them. Audrey knew for a fact Billie knew each of them by hand, taking in count how skilled she was in tracing them with quick fingers, but she never got to ask or see them all.

It didn't help that she always felt...shy around the younger woman, so it was a blast the only fact that they were doing this at all. Dara didn't look at her weirdly, her brown eyes lightening up by the only mention of the request, and she had asked right away if it was okay to know about Audrey's tattoos too. That was the part that made her feel ashamed, taking in count the first tattoos Dara showed her had such strong meaning, because her tattoos were kinda... meaningless as to speak. 

"You really love your family, don't you darling?" Audrey said seeing how, by the inked names, there were some kind of...triangles? scales? tattooed there. Those were enough to go around her left rib towards her back, and there was a change between black and red here and there.

"My family is the most important thing for me, that's why I have them all close," Dara smiled, tracing with her own fingers those little colored triangles, tickling herself in the process and chuckling. She signaled then the first row, five black scales. "My siblings and I," Dara then moved to another four, another two, and a solitary one. "My cousins," and then signaled to the red scales that conformed the middle gapes in between them. "And my nephews and nieces...I still hope to have a couple more of those, so they have their spots reserved." And then she laughed openly, letting her shirt down to take her lemonade glass from the table.

_ Kids _ . Audrey had met them a couple times, taking into account Dahlia also had insisted on bringing her over to their childhood home. And it made her feel self conscious all the time, she thought to herself while moving her tea a bit before taking a sip. But now it wasn't time to dwell on that, because she was pretty content by spending some time with Billie's girl.

"And which more do you have?" Audrey asked as soon as she left the teacup over the table and crossed her arms over there too, resting her cheek in her own forearm.

The afternoon was pretty calm, an early spring one, so they were in Billie and Dara's apartment chilling with the kitchen's window open. They never...interacted much if Billie wasn't around, but they had been trying to connect a bit more as of lately because they felt closer after two, almost three, years of being in this relationship they three shared. 

And Audrey felt lucky that Dara didn't reject her when she suggested to have some gathering only the two of them, taking in count Billie would work till late that day.

"You never saw 'em fully, right," Dara said, lifting her short a bit, to show Audrey the start of the bunch of daffodils she had tattooed in her left thigh. "Each one of them, for every time I lost something close to who I am." and it was a mere whisper coming out from her lips while she traced those flowers that seemed to fade a bit when you looked at them in separate groups. "I got one every now and then, so it's an ongoing project. When I met Billie, I had three...now there are seven."

Those flowers were beautiful on their own, without color, and Audrey couldn't help but trace them with her fingertips lightly and make Dara giggle because she tickled her. The meaning of those resonated with her, almost scaring her because of the weight of Dara’s words. How many things did she lose while being with Billie? Audrey was scared to ask that, so she only focused on describing with her eyes the arc that the flowers made from her hip to almost the inside of her thigh. It also helped her to not focus on the state of Dara’s right thigh, which, almost in the same area in which her tattoo mirrored, had the scars from her car accident three years ago. It wasn’t only the cut from where she had surgery, but also where her skin was scratched from when she rolled in the pavement.

Billie had told her about that and Audrey never saw the medium that... _ wasted  _ and scared and sad. She had promised her to never tell Dara, so she was never going to ask directly either.

“As much as I love them, I won’t like for you to get more,” Audrey joked and Dara laughed, crossing her legs and leaning back in the chair, taking a drag of her cigarette. Another little detail that Audrey found fun about the couple was that they both looked flawless smoking, even when they smoke different kinds of cigarettes. “If that means you lose more things about yourself, then Hell to the no.”

“You’re too sweet with me, darling,” it was then when Audrey heard Dara’s true voice, not the a bit-all-mighty one she was used to hear, watching how she stretched her arm and another tattoo peeked from her sleeve, right in her left biceps, to get more lemonade.

“And what about that?” Audrey signaled, her index pocking where the start of the back of a woman started. 

Dara looked down to her arm and then she smiled fondly at that particular tattoo. It was a representation of one card of her deck, the only one she never got in a reading in almost fifteen years that she was doing this. Her grandmother always said she already was the change, that she was everything and nothing at the same time, that Dara proved to be what the rest  _ needed  _ unknowingly. She always felt there, with what her Mamá Alicia said, that it was a really selfish point of view...but one that made sense in a really scary way.

"My...lucky charm, my lucky card," she took advantage to lace her fingers with Audrey's, not seeing how the blonde woman blushed ever so softly with the gesture, and brought their hands towards the skin. The tattoo pictured an almost naked woman clad with a purple cloth and an eagle, a bull, a lion and some kind of human around her. She almost looked like a virgin of some sorts, taking in count various details. "I never got it in my readings to other people or in the few times I got myself a reading"

"You really have to excuse me with this, but I literally have no idea about...reading cards or things like that," Audrey put that face people always had when they learnt what Dara did for a living most of the time. She didn't believe in those kinds of things, but she respected it as far as Dara knew, like she did with Billie's line of work as well. 

"It's okay," Dara laughed again, clear, but didn't let go of Audrey's hand and placed their still held hands against her tummy, making the older woman come near her. "This is the card called 'the World'. My  _ abuelita _ had a card for every one of her children and well, I got that one for myself."

Audrey hummed in response, pensive, and then her eyes fixed for a few seconds in Dara's stomach. She was sure, ninety nine percent if not hundred percent, there was one more under that shirt. Not only because she caught a glimpse of it when Dara showed her the ones in her ribs, but because Billie's hands were always wandering around that area of her girlfriend's body if they weren't touching her thighs. 

Dara followed Audrey's gaze until it was obvious where she was looking, making her smile softly because she knew the next and last one really important in her body. 

The eye of Horus in the back of her neck was already explained, the one that always gave her protection, and all the tiny meaningless ones - the moon in her left shoulder; the three lines that circled her right forearm near her elbow; the crosses in the inside of her wrists; the little star behind her left ear; and the one she shared with her siblings, four clear dots with a full fifth in the middle, under her left collarbone) were ready to go too along the biggest ones in her body. But that one in particular, the one that defined her breasts from the end of her sternum, was one that always found weird to explain.

Dara had got it before meeting Billie, around the time she still was with her previous partner. She had always loved the idea to get a tattoo there, taking in count how sensitive and erogenous part of her body was, but she also had her doubts about what to get. Until one day she looked up some geometric designs and thought about what made her feel attracted to those hard lines and dots...and then found about what the meaning of lotus was after seeing how many of those forms reminded her of the flower.

The area was basically the very core of her being, what she truly was and not what the rest made her be or how she was seen by others. Dara knew from where she came from, what she was capable of and, most importantly, why she was still there in this existence in spite of everything that transcended in her life.

Audrey, who didn't know why Dara was so distracted suddenly, didn't move at all in case her companion said something. But what surprised her the most was that Dara's unique reaction was to press their laced hands further to her tummy and slip them under her shirt, going up until Audrey felt how the woman opened their hands so Audrey's was left pressing her stomach.

"I think one day you'll learn about this one," Dara's skin was warm and when Audrey ran her thumb lightly over there, she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. "Not even Billie knows what it means...so maybe you two find out together." And then she chuckled shyly, letting Audrey touch to her heart content the noticeable ink lines while she lifted her shirt enough for the actress to see the design and some of Dara's stretch marks along the way. "Or I keep it in secret for the rest of my life, who knows."

That last movement was enough to fry Audrey's last bits of sanity and curiosity about Dara's tattoos.

Not only because they were really close, not because Dara's warmth was drawing her in nor because Dara was clearly  _ not  _ wearing a bra at all - Audrey found that if she was at home, the younger woman refused to wear it. Now there was something else that was working her up like no tomorrow and she was pretty sure all the touching was the culprit of it.

And, of course, not even Billie coming home at that moment made Audrey to back out of the situation.

Her eyes were firm in holding Dara's gaze, curious and clear yet it was obvious something darker and more intense was building up in her. Audrey pressed softly over the ink, over Dara's stomach, and that made her moan low and soft only for her to hear. 

"Oh, what were you two doing without me?" Billie joked somewhere behind Audrey. "Did I arrive on time?"

"I mean," Dara still held Audrey's gaze while taking a last drag of her cigarette and finally standing up, making the actress' hand to fall from its place in her skin. "I think one of you is totally up for it," she started to say while moving towards the master bedroom slowly, taking in count she wasn't using her cane, until she made a halt and took her shirt off. Showing her bare back to the two blonde women in the room, Dara barely looked at them over her shoulder. "And I'm out of my shirt already...so what do you think honey?"

Audrey, even in her hypnotized haze, knew that Dara had Billie hypnotized as well. She didn't need to see the future or read cards or feelings to notice how Billie was probably already worked up just by the way Dara did that. And Audrey hummed softly when her best friend placed her hand over her nape, caressing the short hair there with her thumb, leaning to place a kiss in her pulse point and another one near her ear to whisper there ever so softly.

"Why don't you two warm yourselves up while I get a shower, pumpkin?"

Billie didn't need to say more, because Audrey only needed that little permission to follow the woman that in that moment was making her lose fucking goddamned mind.

Of course the tattoo lesson was one of the most interesting things they did together, Audrey managed to think upon seeing Dara's almost fully naked figure - except her panties, everything was off - the second she put her foot in the room. But as she managed to get some of the sweetest moans from her lover thanks to that, her lips and tongue kissing and tracing invisible paths in her tanned and inked skin, Audrey thought that it got her closer to the unapproachable figure that Dara had meant for her.

It was a good change, she thought when Dara pinned her down to the bed and kissed her hot skin ever so slow, the shower running already in the background.

Maybe a change that would make them finally close that distance both had since the day they three started all of this, having the blonde in the shower as their only common thing between them.

But for the moment Audrey was pretty much content that Dara was letting her have her way around her body, even when her lips  _ still  _ were forbidden to touch, indulging finally in the knowledge of why Billie loved to kiss her girlfriend's stomach so much.

It truly made her whimper in the cutest way Audrey ever heard in her life...cutest and hottest, to say the least.


	2. when Audrey kissed Dara for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up: many of these short stories will lean to a more nsfw side from time to time.

_ part 2, when Audrey kissed Dara for the first time. _

For Dara, it was weird to sleep somewhere else that wasn’t their bed.

Of course there were some exceptions, like at her parents’ or at Dahlia’s, but in general she felt restless when she wasn’t sleeping somewhere known. Hearing Billie’s deep breaths at an arm's distance, she wondered how she managed to sleep at all. Both had different sleep habits, that was clear since the day they went a step further, and after all those years it still amazed Dara how Billie was capable to hang to the second in which she was at peace to go full heavy asleep.

But for her...well, it was difficult to do that. Even harder taking in count she had Audrey’s back pressed against hers. 

They had spent their rare free afternoon the three of them together at Audrey's, watching some films they wanted to from a long time ago and then having late dinner. That had led to them finding their way to Audrey’s bed and eventually...well, eventually to being the three of them squeezed in said bed after having sex. 

It wasn't bad per se, more like surprising, because Billie was used to planning most of the time and that felt a bit wild for her. Dara wasn't one to complain, even less when all they did managed to tire her lover out to finally let her have a night of rest. Billie had been running on a few sleepless nights as of lately plus some others where she barely got a few hours of restless sleep, so hearing her sleep so soundly calmed part of her worriness. 

Audrey mumbled something in her sleep, moving towards Billie to cuddle there better, and Dara took advantage to move too and take her phone from the nightstand. It was barely five in the morning and the few messages she still had to read were some long ones from her mom, one from her boss at the shop she was working in and a meme from Dahlia...sent not long ago. Sighing as deep as she could, Dara decided to just let the bed for the other two and go to the living room in silence. She knew she wouldn’t go back to sleep, so it was better to let both Audrey and Billie rest.

She picked up Billie’s sweatpants from the bedroom floor, mostly because those were the nearest thing she saw with her broken phone’s light, putting them on before going down. Dara had fallen asleep with only her shirt and her panties, so at least she wanted to be dressed if she was going to wander around the place.

There was one thing that Dara kinda hated from Audrey’s attic: stairs. The whole place was not only the last floor in the building but had some kind of double height, and her leg didn’t take that kindly. But she knew it was selfish to make Audrey always come over, so she zipped her mouth about that. When she finally made it, slowly without her cane to support herself, a new question arose in her mind.

What was she gonna do until the other two woke up?

Dara chuckled lightly at that, looking around the dark living room before finding the switch to turn at least the kitchen light - since it was an open room. That was another thing that made her feel weird about spending the night somewhere else. Maybe it was how she was raised, but touching things in someone else's home was something her mother always taught her not to do without permission. Even as an adult, living out of the nest for almost sixteen years already, it stuck with her.

Oh, she for sure could survive three or four hours watching videos on her phone, but she wasn’t that sure if she was going to survive without something in her belly.

What could she do?

Audrey woke up feeling like something was missing. Rubbing the sleep off her eyes, she rolled to her left just to find that there was room enough for her to do so, since the third body in bed wasn’t there to occupy the space. She looked at how Billie was sleeping at her right, her arm under the pillow and almost curled up, and didn’t have the heart to do anything else but brush the lock of hair that was crossing her calm face.

Doing that reminded her that she was actually naked save for her panties and a wave of embarrassment made her decide to get up and retrieve her sweatpants and shirt from the floor. But, using the faint first lights of the day, she couldn't find the lower part anywhere so Audrey just decided to take only her shirt, which was long enough to cover her mid thigh.

Where was Dara? That was the first thing that came to her mind when she saw how Billie rolled in her sleep, taking all the space possible in bed. Pulling back her hair with both hands, she tried to peek at the ensuite bathroom from where she was standing, finding it empty. Maybe she was in the kitchen? A faint sound of a drawer being opened confirmed it and Audrey decided to go find the woman.

Since the tattoo day, Audrey felt a bit more closer to Dara, making her be more open even to little details that before could have slipped about the younger woman. They even messaged a bit more often! That was truly an advance, heck that it was, but she still felt like she had a long way to go. At least she felt less shy around Dara, which was good for a change. But when she finally arrived at the open living room, the view that welcomed her was something else, making Audrey felt her face heat up in a sudden burst of embarrassment.

Dara was standing next to the counter, trying to read some package while she drummed with her fingers the metal of Audrey's teapot. Her back was facing Audrey, so she couldn't see her, but Audrey could perfectly see how  _ her  _ sweatpants hugged Dara's legs and ass nicely tight...until you looked down and saw how they weren't long enough to cover her full height. 

At least now she knew where her clothes were.

"Need any help, darling?" Audrey said softly, not wanting to startle Dara by suddenly showing up.

"Uhm...yeah, I don't know how your stove works," there wasn't a surprise in her tone, Audrey wondering how Dara could never be startled, and she gave her a lopsided grin that made her tender dimples to show up. "I was about to just put it all in the microwave and pray for it to come out right," she chuckled lightly, using her free hand to rub the back of her neck. "And then cover my mess and crime against tea brewing before you two woke up."

Audrey couldn't help but giggle, still a bit asleep, before walking towards Dara. She wasn't welcomed with a big kiss like Billie always did, but she got a soft smile and a little squeeze to her hand when she took the tea package from Dara's hand. That was enough for Audrey, feeling a bit more calm just with that gesture while she started to make some tea for both.

"You could have slept more, you know? It's not even six in the morning," Audrey looked at Dara, who followed her hobbling a bit, with a bit of concern. "Yesterday you looked really tired, sweetheart."

"I couldn't, but don't worry much about it," Dara stretched there like a lazy cat, popping her back with a soft sound that made her moan even more softly just with how good that felt - making Audrey blush in the process. "I always had a hard time with sleepovers, so after a nap in my bed I'll be good as new." She said while paying attention at everything Audrey was doing. "Sorry if I woke you up, I didn't want to be a bother."

"Oh shush, you didn’t and you totally aren’t,” she was quick to reassure her, almost too quick, because Audrey didn’t like to hear that coming from the other woman. The only thing Dara kept doing was to make things easier for her. “Are you hungry?”

And there, Audrey didn’t need Dara to say something, because it was written all over her features. It felt warm in her chest seeing how Dara blushed ever so faintly and fidgeted a bit before nodding, as if she was shy of replying and it reminded Audrey of how Dahlia always got all up to not be a bother for anyone. At least Dara’s way of doing that wasn’t as harsh as her cousin’s. 

“Okay, I have...well, I don’t have many things but I have cookies,” Audrey fished the box from one of the cupboards, but there wasn’t anything else they could use to do breakfast. She went then to the fridge and, totally, she was out of stock. “And butter, and a pepper, and also...too many yogurt, God, I do have to go get groceri-”

“Butter?” there wasn’t judgement in Dara’s voice, it was indeed a pretty curious tone, and Audrey looked at her blinking a bit fast. “Gimme that, I’ll make you the tastiest thing you ever tried.”

For a second Audrey didn’t think Dara was serious, but after she gave her the butter and a knife, well everything turned a bit homie even. 

Peeking a bit from time to time to see how Dara was spreading butter over the cookies, which gladly were the plain ones, Audrey tried to brew tea only for both since she knew Billie was the coffee drinker per excellence. When she had the teacups ready, Dara handed her one of the threats she prepared with a cute smile on. It was so different to when Billie offered her food, but she took it gladly after giving Dara her tea. Side by side in the counter, they sipped in silence, just enjoying themselves for a couple minutes until Audrey looked at the...cookie-butter mini sandwich with a bit of concern.

“Honey, this looks like not a good idea.”

“Listen, I survived for a couple of months on these and they are fucking delicious,” Dara took a big bite to hers, big enough to almost eat it in one go and then munched on it. For Audrey she looked younger doing something that simple, making her laugh and bump her shoulder with her arm. Still full mouth, she talked. “There they go, see? It’s not poisonous.” 

“Okay, okay, let’s give it a try,” Audrey was still a bit unsure about it, but she did eat strangest things at home in London, so what could happen? She bit it lightly and Dara raised an eyebrow, chewing on the rest of her cookie, waiting for the response. “...okay...it wouldn’t be something I would on my own volition, but! It is...tasty. Buttery. It makes my teeth feel funny when chewing on it...how in the actual Hell did you survive on these for two months?”

Dara had to use her forearm to muffle the big laugh that Audrey drew out of her, taking afterwards a big gulp from her teacup and making the other woman to chuckle while getting closer to her, pressing her forehead against Dara’s shoulder. That made Dara circle Audrey’s waist with her free arm, cuddling her to her side, and Audrey let herself be pressed against her body in a way that let her be tucked under Dara’s chin. And it’s easy to do that thanks to the height difference, which made it all the best.

“That’s why you didn’t try it with honey, sweet baby Jesus, that makes your teeth rattle like no tomorrow,” Dara caressed Audrey’s hip with her thumb, drawing slow circles there and making her hum in response. Audrey fed her the rest of her cookie sandwich, getting it almost whole in her mouth. When she managed to chew and swallow, Dara only chuckled again. “In desperate times you sometimes have to try the smartest solutions...even when some of them makes you live half a day in a sugar rush or tachycardia.”

“That’s why you don’t drink coffee?” Audrey asked in a whisper, because she had noticed how much Dara despised the hot drink. She didn’t say it out loud but the way she looked at the whole thing gave it to her.

Dara looked a bit down to Audrey, taking in count they were so close, and moved her hand to wrap her better in that one-arm hug she was giving to her, placing her palm in her tummy. She had told Billie why she didn’t drink coffee, expressly since it was a huge part of her lover’s life, but to have someone guess that through her words...well, that was new.

“That’s why I don’t drink coffee,” she nodded a bit and Audrey took advantage of that to move her head slightly and press her forehead a bit against Dara’s cheek, making her leave a kiss there in response. “That’s why I don’t do a lot of things, indeed...”

Audrey managed to look at Dara in the eyes then, seeing how her features were softer and more relaxed but there was something dark showing up in her eyes. Tired even and Audrey saw how her fingers twitched in the grip she had in her teacup, a gesture of someone that’s been smoking for too long and did it unconsciously. She had noticed that she was also letting her hair grow from the eternal short cut under her ears she always sported, something that was rare enough to worry Audrey, making her soft waves turn more into curls that were about to reach her shoulders in a couple months. 

Her eyes went then from Dara’s eyes to her lips, her lower lip a bit wet from the last sip she took, and she wondered if Billie always felt like that. Like she wanted to give in and never let go. 

So she finally did.

The panic of doing such a thing hit Audrey right the second her lips weren’t pressed against Dara’s and the other woman knew it. It was all over Audrey’s face and the guilty glint in her eyes was screaming in volumes, but Dara didn’t let go of her grip on her. 

They never had shared a kiss, that was something that fell in Billie’s charge to give both that, and Audrey never felt that she had any right to even touch Dara’s face. If they kissed it was only their bodies and for the younger woman that meant from the base of her neck downwards. And now she broke the silent contract they had with each other, just for something as childish as curiosity, maybe? Or whatever it was.

“Drey,” Dara’s voice was ever so calm and it ran through Audrey like a healing balm for her about to skyrocket anxiety. She heard the soft  _ clink  _ of the porcelain in the counter and then Dara’s free hand was in her cheek, running her thumb over smooth warm skin. “Don’t panic, it’s okay.”

“But w-we… I-I...I-I’m sor-”

Audrey never got to apologize, because she got another kiss that shut her up. A new kiss that wasn’t shy at all, that tasted sweet and was almost velvety even; that made Audrey feel that she deserved it yet didn’t own it; that made her realize that Billie had at home the gentlest lover ever...but also the most ready-to-please lover in existence, pressing first Audrey against the counter and then lifting her up to make her sit there, the kissing game going strong for a few more seconds before Dara opened teasingly all the buttons in Audrey’s shirt and working her up terribly fast.

Billie didn’t know how she managed to make it alive to the living room, too sleepy to function, but what made her rise from bed was the smell of coffee, so she kinda knew she would make it there safely. 

Fully dressed with her clothes from yesterday, taking in count she took her time to do that before falling asleep, it made her chuckle to see Dara sleeping soundly in the couch, clad in Audrey’s sweatpants - which only made Billie to run her hand over the curve of her ass in a loving way along a little pat, like she was used to do, and getting a little sleepy comfortable hum in response. 

“You’re terrible, let her sleep,” Audrey said, drawing Billie’s attention but not getting it fully until she left a kiss on Dara's crown of the head. “I made you coffee, come get it before it gets too cold.”

“Aye captain,” Billie joked and then noticed how her best friend had clean clothes on and her hair was wet. “Were you two up for too long?”

“Six in the morning, more or so,” Billie grunted at that, catching a glimpse from the current hour - eight twenty, eight twenty-one - in the microwave. “We already had breakfast and all, never thought I would try the average college student breakfast after like twenty years.”

Billie was confused for a second, taking the cup of coffee from Audrey’s hands and then watching how she was putting away the teapot, a box of cookies and the butter. But then she noticed how relaxed Audrey seemed, how there was a massive hickey peeking from the collar of her light dress that  _ she  _ totally didn’t leave and also Audrey’s underwear peeking from behind the coffee machine.

She almost choked on her coffee just because of the fit of laughter she was trying to hide.

“And was it good? Dara does that from time to time, when she isn’t in the mood of cooking,” oh, Billie lived for the double meaning of everything, taking in count that Dara had made for her the butter cookie sandwiches several times along the years...but also ate her out for breakfast just for the sake of it. Audrey got all pink suddenly and Billie turned around with a smug grin on, watching how Dara moves in her sleep on the couch. 

“It was...interesting, that for sure,” it was accompanied by a soft chuckle and Billie closed her eyes, feeling the light warm in her chest growing with each passing second, feeling content of being there with  _ her  _ people. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Well, since I have a couple of days of rest, I was thinking about taking Dara on a date tonight,” that was something she had in her mind from the moment she knew she would have a rest from filming. “She has to work today, so it will give me time to plan it.”

“Mhm, I see,” Audrey got closer to Billie, who welcomed her in her arms like she did that everyday, and gave her a peck. “Why don’t you try that italian we went once? I’m sure she would love it...it had a nice terrace and all, open air, I think she needs something like that.”

Humming in response, Billie and Audrey let themselves be in the kitchen, not raising much their voices to not bother the sleeping woman on the couch. It was a bit weird that Audrey saw that too, that Dara needed something to take her mind off from whatever she was thinking so hard those days, but she took it gladly because that meant more help to make her girl feel good and content.

And all that peace lasted until Dara’s alarm went off and the three of them started to move in order to make her arrive on time to work.


	3. when Audrey made Billie feel actually jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you should really read the first chapter of 'troubles of a learning heart' 'cause you won't get anything that happens in here if you don't.

_ part 3, when Audrey made Billie feel actually jealous. _

"I still can't wrap my head around how you manage to keep yourself in line," Audrey scratched her eyebrow a bit, looking at Billie in the kitchen from the couch. "It's beyond me, darling."

Billie's laughter sounded all over the apartment, lightening it up from its gloomy aura that autumn day. The medium had picked Audrey up from a meeting with her manager a few hours ago, bringing her over to the apartment just to spend time together since Dara was working a late shift in the shop. Audrey pouted again, resting her arms and chin better in the back of the couch so she could look at what was Billie doing in the kitchen.

Hoarding a plate full of brownies like some kind of gremlin was something very unlike her, for anyone who knew the medium of the stars in like a street level basis, but she was doing it right now with like zero shame.

"My line of work has both perks and cons, I'm afraid," Audrey rolled her eyes hard upon noticing the tone in which Billie spoke, trying to sound a bit mighty with her mouth full of brownie. She swallowed, humming contently, and then shot Audrey the most perfect smile she could do. "But I think it's probably spinning twice a week what does the actual trick and-"

"Please, don't finish that sentence," warned Audrey, because she was like a million percent sure that Billie was going to say that sex helped her greatly as well. "I think you two have a problem at times."

"Do we now? Thought you enjoyed it as well, pumpkin," Billie laughed once again and Audrey felt herself blush to the root, cheeks and ears ablaze. It only got worse when the medium moaned a little upon munching on another brownie.

"Are they really that good?" Audrey felt necessary to change the topic, coughing a bit, and trying to focus in the kettle that was over the stove. "Where did you buy them?"

"Nowhere, that's the best part," hummed Billie, retrieving cups from the cupboard and some milk from the fridge. "Dara bakes at times, she's really good at it, so I'm supplied with these delicious mortal chocolate bombs for a lifetime."

Audrey couldn't help but scratch her ear, feeling a bit out of place suddenly. There were many things about Billie's  _ daily  _ life that she was missing completely at times and those all were related to her actual girlfriend. Of course Audrey knew Dara was there, how not? A constant reminding her that she was actually the  _ added  _ one in the relationship, but hearing about those kinds of simple tiny details wasn’t something she still got in her head easily.

It was weird, to be fair, because Dara could be eating her out one night but not get a wind of her in days if it wasn't because Billie mentioned her often...and that was as of now, in which Audrey thought their relationship was improving in some way. It all had gone for the better after that morning in Audrey’s apartment, but they still had a long way ahead.

Audrey and Billie had been ‘together’ for a year as of now, while Dara barely joined them half a year ago, so just imagine the whole thing.

"Well let me try them then," Audrey wanted to be courageous, trying something 'new' and having a new opportunity of interacting with Dara. She was pretty sure that complimenting her baking was another step to a good direction. "I don't have such a sweet tooth like you, but I'm willing to have my cheat day earlier if you say that they are so good."

Upon hearing that, Billie stopped munching to look at Audrey, as if she grew another head all of a sudden, but she did walk towards her with the brownies' plate to let her have as many as she wanted. She wasn’t used to Audrey not being picky with everything she ate, so it was a surprise that she was indulging, a good one to be honest.

Until she heard Audrey’s moan.

It wasn’t something she didn’t hear before, but in that moment it was in a new light. One that made Billie’s stomach swirl and settle in a feeling she despised with her whole being, even if it was just a little.

“Well, so...where did you say Dara had her rings? I think I’ll give a jeweller’s downtown a call, because wow, if she’s down for it I’m marrying her right away,” Audrey’s laugh was soft after swallowing, trying to look at Billie. “How can she bake like some kind of God?”

From all the things that Audrey could expect, she didn’t expect to see such a blank face in Billie. She was about to ask if there was something wrong but the next second Billie was taking the plate from her hands with a scowl on her face.

“Ha, ha, so funny,” Audrey was another million percent sure that Billie was about to pout at any second for some reason. “Find your own baker, miss Tindall.”

It only took Audrey what it took Billie to go back to the kitchen to actually know what was going on. And if she was being honest, it totally weirded her out that she managed to acknowledge that Billie was jealous.

Finishing the treat, Audrey left her friend room to clear her mind, just merely observing her going around the kitchen again to finish from fixing tea time. It also gave the actress time to think of some kind of action plan in case Billie was more annoyed than she thought. 

The next minutes, almost next hour, Audrey didn't add much verbally but left Billie be the one carrying the conversation. Having her talking about everything and nothing made the actress feel more at ease in some way, but still be worried sick because Billie always got like that when there was something else in her mind. Doing things that made her avoid altogether what was bugging her so deeply, a classic at this point that Audrey was getting a bit annoyed by.

She neither stopped Billie or suggested following her when she announced that she was taking a shower, only indulging a bit on the kiss before watching her walk away. Without knowing what else to do, Audrey decided to take the videogame controller from the coffee table and maybe keep playing that game Dara showed her - and in which she got really invested - was a good idea.

Billie looked at herself in the mirror after getting out of the shower, feeling how her stomach churned uncomfortably. 

Audrey didn’t deserve being the receiving end of all her frustrations, that was for sure, but the soft joke had hit her with an unexpected might. 

Three weeks had already passed since their vacations in Sacramento, the topic of everything that happened there not showing up at all nor close to, and Billie saw each day how Dara seemed to get a bit more lost in herself. She always had some magic way to separate every aspect of her life, but many times Billie had had to snap her out of a way too deep rant about work - when Dara herself was the one that always reminded her that work things were left at work after the clock ticked. Or even a few days in which Dara seemed out of touch with what was happening at the moment, making her to drop and hit things out of the blue, or worse: getting herself injured - Billie shivered with how she still had an oil burn she got a few days ago or when she hit herself in the head with the window by accident or all the tiny bruises in her legs from bumping into things.

All of that didn't help at all either with trying to manage her own past discomfort and try to do something for her.

Billie sighed deeply, getting in her pajamas quickly, to spend some minutes in silence in her bedroom. She looked through her messages, trying to see if she got anything important but the only one she got was from her assistant reminding her of something about tomorrow's schedule. Tapping in Dara's chat, she looked at the few texts they exchanged that day and wondered how busy her girl was, taking into account she didn't respond to her last one. 

She really should stop from over worrying, Billie thought putting her phone down and rubbing her forehead a bit. Taking a peek at the living room, she saw how Audrey was really focused on the television, game controller tightly held in her hands and maybe a bit of a scowl.

Yeah, Audrey didn’t deserve her being mean for no reason.

If it wasn’t because Billie moved her legs to sit and leave them in her lap, Audrey wouldn’t have noticed her best friend coming back. The game was really fucking addicting, to be fair, and the music catchy which made a perfect combination to not think much.

She didn’t stop playing because Billie didn’t do or say something, so she only smiled at her sideways when the medium started to draw slow patterns in her legs with her thumbs. This was kind of an unexpected calm date, as far as Audrey could discern, but even when she kept playing the game she decided that she wanted Billie to speak her mind once and for all.

“Are you going to tell me whatever is burning your brain or are you going to just sit there brooding while I play?” she asked, thinking a bit about the choices the game gave her.

It took Billie the incredible amount of ten minutes to finally answer, but she did it and Audrey felt herself to freeze on the spot.

“Do you think I am enough for Dara?” Audrey blinked, trying to discern if Billie really said that. “Sometimes I feel like I’m failing her, that she can do way more better than..me,” Billie rubbed her eyes a bit. “I don’t know Audrey, it’s weird, I feel bad.”

Pressing pause at the same time Billie sadly chuckled at admitting she was feeling bad because of those questions, Audrey looked at her in another light. It wasn’t that she didn’t notice before how Billie changed the moment she crossed the door of her home, but for someone she always saw so sure of herself...well, this was new and a bit scary.

“What made you think that, sweetheart?” she asked, taking one of Billie’s hands in hers, trying to run her thumb soothingly over her knuckles. 

She wasn’t ready for the flood that was Billie’s thoughts and words for the next twenty or so minutes, that was for sure. Everything that truly happened in their vacation, from when they landed in Sacramento to the moment they woke up that very same day. It made Audrey feel how her heart broke in a few pieces, listening to how unsure Billie was of everything in that moment. 

For a few seconds Audrey didn’t know what to say, how to give advice to Billie, and she wondered if her best friend was going to cry and let all that frustration out.

“You should have seen them Drey, they gravitate around each other and if he wasn’t with Dara’s sister, well,” Billie’s voice broke a bit and Audrey couldn’t help but bring her hand to her lips. That was Billie’s fatal flaw: the overthinking, it made her overlook many other details and go full beeline with everything and forget the rest. “So hearing you say that hit me like a fucking truck, you sure will swoop her off her feet and away easily.”

“I think Dara would slap the shit out of me if I ever suggest taking her away from you,” Audrey was really serious about that statement, looking at the controller with that unlike scenario in her head. “Did you hear her arguing with her sisters over the phone? Bloody hell, I bet she’s a feisty one.”

“Oh dear, she totally is,” hearing how Billie laughed for a bit was something good. “You should see them arguing face to face.”

“Next time Dahlia invites me over,” Audrey smiled with that, because after all, Dahlia still was her best friend and she was invited over a few times at some family gatherings. “But going back to the point...when Dara’s mom told you about them, did she tell you who left who?”

By the look in Billie’s eyes, her whole demeanor and obviously how she shook her head, Audrey knew Dara’s mother conveniently left that detail outside of the talk. She felt herself frown a bit and pulled Billie closer, kissing her temple tenderly, lingering softly to convey all that she couldn’t put in words. It was hard to give a good opinion, taking in count she only knew Billie’s side of the story, but she was about to do her best.

“Then you really should ask Dara about it, don’t you think?” Billie groaned at Audrey’s words. “Listen Billie, I know you two from not that long maybe, but I know how deeply you care for Dara and how much she loves you, how much you love her,” Audrey said those last words in a whisper because you should be blind to not see it yet at the same time she knew how much her best friend struggled with that point. “Do I think that sometimes you should be more forward with her, more vocal? Absolutely, but I don’t think you’re failing Dara. How long have you two been together, please do tell me.”

“Seven years.”

“Seven fucking years, you already surpassed anything she could have achieved with that guy and, as much I can see, you two are going forward,” how strange was to give her best friend and also her lover, for the time being, those words but she did it the same because it was what Billie needed to hear...or that she hoped. “Do you think Dara doesn’t know what’s best for her? If she decided you were that, the best for her, then why are you worrying? Wouldn’t she say something the second a doubt came to her head?”

Maybe Audrey shouldn’t have said that so promptly, because it made Billie to finally break down, but maybe she did have to tell them to prompt that reaction. Let her go of those nasty feelings, she thought, because if Billie started to cry it was because it was needed. Billie wasn’t one to sob loudly - Audrey was that type of crybaby, being honest -, but her tiny whimpers were very heartbreaking. Audrey had to hold her own so Billie could take all the tears for herself.

She usually didn’t like to mingle with Billie and Dara’s relationship, mostly because she was the added one in this, but she had come to clash more with that side of Billie that Dara seemed to take and wrap with millions of bubble paper sheets so she didn’t explode. Maybe that was one of their main problems, as much as Audrey could have seen in the time they three together, but if it worked for them, who was she to snoop around? Only in times like those, which were pretty much rare, was that she suggested something to Billie or asked about.

Audrey thought sometimes Dara needed to be more forward as well with Billie, but this time it was Billie’s to take and do everything.

Letting Billie cry to her heart content, Audrey tried to come up with something to tell Dara once she saw her girlfriend - again, Audrey refused to address both as anything different in her head, as much as she knew they never formalized their relationship - like that. She shivered a bit with the possibility of the other woman coming right in that moment, but it didn’t happen and for that she was grateful.

It wouldn’t be for another hour that Dara didn’t come home. Billie was fast asleep over Audrey’s chest while she decided to keep playing the game, not knowing what else she could do, when she overheard keys at the front door. The medium woke up in automatic, making Audrey to break her concentration and lose what she was doing, taking in count she was playing with the controller resting in Billie’s back.

“I think I’m sweating in places I’m not sure I should sweat,” Audrey saw Dara not looking at the living room, going for the kitchen immediately and a sleepy Billie trailing behind her like a lost puppy. “I hope you two are hungry, my cousin the super duper ultra chef gave me a recipe for a quiche that’s to die for and I’m going to cook the Hell out of that,” from her position in the couch, Audrey saw how Billie took the groceries bag from Dara’s arms and Dara thanked her a bit out of breath, her smile bright like the sun upon seeing how her partner was wrapping her arms around her middle after that. “How was the nap honey? Bet it was amazing, you can barely keep your eyes open.” 

Audrey smiled to herself when Billie replied to that with a mumble she couldn’t hear, the kiss the blonde gave her girlfriend was so sweet and slow that for a moment they both only existed in the tiny kitchen.

If only Billie could see what she could, any doubt in her head would be erased from eternity. Billie said Dara and her ex seemed to gravitate around each other? That’s why she couldn’t see how she gravitated around Dara. How the whole apartment, all this time somewhat gloom even for a mild summer day, seemed to come alive the moment the woman with the cane entered; how Billie herself was more relaxed and the tears were long forgotten the second Dara circled her neck to keep kissing like in those old black and white movies.

How Dara seemed to just have all her focus in Billie because, for her, nothing else mattered.

“I’m starving, Billie only gave me tea for afternoon snack,” chided Audrey, going back to the game to fix the mess Billie left her with.

“Only tea?” it took Dara five minutes to reply, Audrey didn’t have to turn around to see how they were making out. “Bills.”

“She was mean,” Billie mumbled and Audrey overheard the soft smack of a new kiss. “Only tea it was.”

“Is that so, my love?” Audrey wanted to throw Billie a shoe if she didn’t catch the raw emotion behind the pet name. “It’s okay, I’m here to protect you from the big meany, but I need you two on table duty while I get out of this before going all crusader on both dinner and avenging.”

When Dara was out of view, Audrey finally turned around to see Billie. Billie was also looking at her, cheeks a bit blushed but not regretting a single thing. Ah, there she was again, thought Audrey standing up and doing as she was told, since her best friend decided to take out first the ingredients for dinner from the bag. They bumped into each other like kids, bickering a bit just like that, but this time Audrey did not go for a kiss like always.

She felt like today Billie wanted and needed every ounce of affection from the woman that was now walking towards them slowly, pulling up her hair into a ponytail and smiling at her girlfriend with the force of a thousand suns. 

Audrey didn’t add much after getting her task done, only sitting at the counter to watch Dara cook, Billie close to her as well and always touching her in some way. It also seemed that today she was going back home after dinner, she thought when Billie hugged Dara from behind and started kissing the back of her neck with care, tracing with her lips Dara’s tattoo just like that. She shook her head, giving Billie a teasing soft kick in her butt and Dara reminding both she was in front of a hot pan.

They needed each other too bad and Audrey simply didn’t have the heart to not let them.

So the best thing Audrey came up with was to go back to the game, for the third time in the day. She wasn’t of much use in the kitchen, anyway, so waiting on the couch didn’t sound half as bad and, if she was completely honest, she had discovered it was a nice spot for just observing.

A nice spot for watching two of the people she was so strongly attached to, which she loved in a way that not many could understand.

However she didn’t expect to overhear the private conversation the couple had while waiting for the ingredients to fry. It made her try to focus on the television, but it was of no use at this point.

“I’m sorry I’ve been acting weird these days,” the apology coming from Dara’s lips was not what Audrey expected to hear. “I know I’ve been worrying you, it’s just that...my head isn’t in a good place right now.”

“You don’t have to apologize Annie,” Billie sighed and Audrey was pretty sure she was hugging her tightly. “It’s not your fault or something.”

“Still, you don’t deserve to be treated like this Bills,” Audrey tried to not be too loud pushing the buttons of the game controller. “I...look, you’re the most important thing I have, and I don’t want you to feel bad or something because I’m an asshole that can’t handle her head.”

“I won’t let you call yourself an asshole, baby,” yeah, Billie, that’s it and a kiss to make it even more serious! “Not when you also aren’t feeling well...sometimes you don’t know how to handle your head, but maybe I can help with that...if you let me?”

Audrey couldn’t help herself, smiling as big as she could, when Dara seemed to agree partially with Billie’s proposal. It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was a start, and that was very much a big step for them. As if they were keeping building that beautiful bridge between them, little by little, and learning from each other at the same time.

It made the quiche taste even better and all.


End file.
